2 of 6. Sucka!

My previous blog post was in January. It is now September. Standard blog protocol dictates this post begin with a self-abasing statement about being a crappy blogger and a commitment to be better in the future.

Well, I just can't do that. For one thing, I'm not a crappy blogger. I'm a freaking brilliant blogger. If my adoring fans have to wait 8 months between installments, so be it. The posts will just be that much sweeter for the anticipation. Two years passed between the 6th and 7th Harry Potter books, yet J.K. Rowling did not begin the The Deathly Hallows with, "Whoa, I guess it's been a while. Sorry I'm such a flake."

As for my future blogging performance, I actually will make a commitment. Looking at my blog archive, I noticed a pattern. In 2008 I had nine posts, eight in 2009, and seven in 2010. There's a pattern there that needs to be preserved. This will be my second post of 2011. I hereby commit to deliver no more or less than four additional posts before 2012 bringing the 2011 count to six.

"But wait!" you say, "Aren't you running the risk of posting just for the sake of posting? Won't focusing on the numbers deprive the posts their personality?"

To this I say phooey. If a newlywed man and woman decide they want three children in their family, is not each one of those three children a number? Does arbitrarily specifying a final count somehow steal the personalities from the individual children within that count? Of course not. The motivation behind the creation of a child is irrelevant. Once here, each child becomes his own entity. Speaking for himself. Brightening or darkening the world by simply being who he is. Thus it is with my blog posts.

So here we are, six paragraphs into this post and my only subjects have been me, my blog, my blogging abilities, and this post itself. Rap fans will appreciate the convention.

Talk smack if you like, but my future is bright. I'll be blogging past the end of days and into the night.