Happy Thanksgetting!

Thanksgiving is the most ironic of holidays. The fact that we gather together once a year to demonstrate our thanks by eating a ton of food makes me wonder if the original name for the holiday included air quotes.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan - It's just that the physics of the thing don't quite click with me. First, we're presumably given something for which we are to be grateful - then, we show our gratitude by treating ourselves to roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, etc. It just doesn't seem very karma-friendly to me.

But, who am I to question a good thing. I mean, Thanksgiving is the epitome of a win-win situation. Far be it from me to disparage a truly American pastime. In fact, I think we should keep the spirit of Thanksgiving with us throughout the entire year.

A stranger lets you cut in front of him in line at the grocery store? Show your appreciation by buying yourself a candy bar. Your neighbor unexpectedly shovels your walk? Don't stay indebted, get yourself right over to Krispy Kreme and eat three doughnuts (four if you have a big driveway).

Now you're probably thinking, "Wait! If I show my gratitude throughout the whole year, will I have anything left to be thankful for come the actual Thanksgiving holiday?" The answer is, obviously, who cares? Haven't you ever heard of paying it forward? Suppose someone gives you a kidney in 20 years. Do you think you're going to be able to show thanks for something that generous by just eating a bowl of ice cream? No, you'll need years of gluttony to properly compensate for that level of kindness. Better to start saying thanks now so as not to find yourself in an awkward situation later.