I Am Brilliant

Several years ago I had a friend who thought everything was cool. It didn’t matter what it was, there was some degree of coolness in it. The only variable was the actual quantity of coolness imbued in a thing. For instance, if someone told my friend that a puppy had been run over, he might have responded, “Wow… that’s not very cool.” which, of course, would imply that there was, albeit minuscule, at least some level of coolness in it.

See, there is a monumental difference between something not being cool, and something not being very cool, and in that difference, lies a paradigm-shifting idea that bears consideration.

Entertaining the notion that there is at least some shred of coolness in every person, place, and thing (ok, every noun) that exists, it follows that other attributes (beauty, intelligence, goodness, etc.) would be similarly ubiquitous. In fact, I assert that this idea can be applied not just to some other attributes, but to every other attribute. In other words, everything is everything – to an extent.

Traditionally, attributes are considered to have opposites which do not typically occupy the same space. Beauty and ugliness, for instance, are thought to be on a single scale, ugliness being at one end, and beauty at the other. In my view, beauty and ugliness are two distinct attributes, both of which are present in everything. Heidi Klum, for example, is not very ugly, but, as it must, a tiny shred of ugliness does exist in her. I can therefore, with a clear conscience, say that she is ugly, because she embodies that small bit of ugliness.

Likewise, as the title of this post avers, I can say with full confidence that I am brilliant. Granted, the quantity of brilliance that abides in me may be microscopic, but it is there. Unfortunately, idiocy is also inexorably attached to me, so it is just as correct for me to state, “I am idiotic”.

The problem is that often times one attribute is so blaring, that all other attributes are overlooked. If I was devoured by lions, the tragedy of my gruesome death would almost completely overshadow the triumph of me getting a day off of work. Ergo, most people would feel comfortable saying the event was not triumphant. In actuality, however, the event was just not very triumphant.

So, what’s the point? Well, if you embrace the, “everything is everything” philosophy, you can be totally relieved of any guilt associated with "little white lies" and/or unfair criticisms. Statements like, “You are beautiful!”, “That idea is genius!”, and “That joke was hilarious!”, can all be said with complete candor. Conversely, for those of you less inclined to niceness, feel free to boldly assert, “Your face is atrocious!”, “Your mannerisms are obnoxious!”, or even, “Your blog is lame.”

When you come to the realization that everything (and everyone) actually does manifest some level of beauty, genius, hilarity, atrocity, obnoxiousness and lameness, pointing it out is merely rhetorical.